The Pilgrimage Begins
It is a curious thing that the Waterlooians chose to have this poob'crol , or pilgrimage, during the dead of winter. Surely, this long, arduous journey could be made more comfortable by traveling in June, or even September, when the temperatures are more tolerable. However, the Waterlooians do not seem to mind the sub-zero temperatures, even in their somewhat skimpy clothing. When I asked one of the xzecks, Teefanee, why she was wearing such an exceptionally thin and revealing red fabric top, her matter-of-fact response was simply: "I got it for three dollars at Old Navy!!". I believe the snow that covers the ground at this time to be an important symbol which may explain the lack of warm garments worn by the Waterlooians. White is perceived by many cultures as a symbol of purity and cleanliness, a notion that these people also have. Perhaps the blanket of snow over the ground represents a 'pure' path to the temples, and, therefore, is the only safe time to make this journey. Also, It has been suggested by some of my informants that they expected to be "praying to the porcelain god" later that night; a god who is represented by a milky-white altar found in most buildings, where devote worshippers empty the polluting contents of their stomachs for several hours after these ceremonies. Is the poob'crol a purification ritual? Is the colour white a key religious purity/pollution symbol? And, is prudent economical behavior an important aspect of this religious ceremony? More research will have to be conducted in order to properly answer these questions.
I traveled with the Waterlooians for close to ten minutes across the frozen wastelands. At times I found myself lost in the wide expanse of the Paarq'nglot, utterly disoriented among the snow covered mounds. Yet, somehow the pilgrims always seemed to know where they were going. I figure that each of them has made this journey hundreds of times in their lives, the trail ingrained in their very being, much like the !kung or the Inuit in their respective territories. Trusting in my guides, I trudged forward until we at last reached the first temple, weev'rzahrmz, at 7:45pm. Pilgrimages such as these tend to attract hundreds of peoples to the temples...especially on Fridays. However, this temple as uncharacteristically empty. One Waterlooian expressed his disappointment, uttering the phase "woot dahel?". Most did not seem to be upset at all at the lack of other pilgrims, who have a reputation for being a nuisance and bogging down the service. We occupied a prayer booth in the back on the left side and had the priests bring us refreshments. At this time the group is relatively quiet, enjoying their surroundings. Lhiz took it upon herself to order a Waterlooian delicacy, poot'eene, originally brought to this area from Ke-bek in the far east. This ethnographer ventured to try some and would describe the taste as thick and gooey, though very satisfying after such a long walk. Lhiz's mate, Steev was sitting nearby and his hostile gaze deterred this ethnographer from eating any more.
Certain aspects of Waterlooian social structure and individual personality become evident after a short while at the temple. It is apparent that the Waterlooians are basically an egalitarian people whose leaders (xzecks) are chosen for their personal aptitude and skills, independent of ancestry and personal wealth. Soft spoken Kaarhen, for instance, is known as a good orator. She is also considered the 'richest' of the Waterlooians, possessing many of the sacred bracelets and armbands that were distributed to the other pilgrims, in potlatch fashion, back at the gra'dhows. I was able to acquire a number of these artifacts, but lost them at some point during the night, presumably to the charms of various native women. I don't quite recall. Daav is renown for his superior hunting and bartering ability, which he displayed admirably by trading his moiety's yam for a rare Rickard's Red plaque*. The other moiety also managed to trade their yam for a valuable article, a bottle of ba'hooz, though the plaque was judged as the superior totem object. These trades illustrate the cultural importance of the yam as a symbol of renewal and transformation, keeping with the theory proposed above.
On the topic of personalities, Teefanee seems to always be in a jolly mood, forever a smile on her face and always laughing. I have my suspicions that it is a façade, under which hides her true nature: cruel, ruthless and diabolical, waiting for the perfect time to surface and wreak vengeance on her enemies!! Admittedly, I have no evidence to substantiate this allegation. Purely ethnographer's intuition. Her mate, Arrn, is much more reserved, but he too seems amiable. He carries and air of quiet confidence and is always dressed in spectacular fashion. The hat he adorned for the pilgrimage was truly spectacular and had this ethnographer, admittedly, feeling envious. Ta'boothaw's nature is more difficult to discern. She did not seem in a very good mood at the outset of the journey, but improved considerably as the night went on. There is no doubt that she demands respect, and shortly after leaving the gra’dhows had me carrying a satchel of her personal belongings. I did not relish the idea of being left alone in this strange land and could do nothing save follow obediently. I was to discover much later that it was, in a way, an honour to carry the satchel, as it contained the blessed Crayola markers for tallying drink consumption. Lhiz and Steev are a curious couple, indeed. They make such a cute couple, even for Waterlooians, that it makes one want to be sick. Steev has a quick wit, as I shall illustrate in another chapter, and is always a pleasure to talk with. Lhiz is an absolutely wonderful person with not a single fault I can find. I swear that this evaluation has nothing to do with the fact that she complemented me on the webpage. Be that a lesson to the rest of you who desire good press.
Saar'ah is...well...herself. Bubbly, talkative, flirtatious and extremely devoted to one of the gods, though I am not permitted to mention which one. Incidentally, I have spent much time with this native and find her infinitely amusing, if stubborn on occasion. D'aan is a strong looking fellow with a relaxed demeanor and excellent sense of humour. I am told by several sources that he is quite the lady's man and is very adept in the boudoir. Thanks again, D'aan, for the pitcher of Keith's. Shaw'nah is a kind soul who is always willing to lend a helping hand. Her name translated into English is: "a walking, talking used-book database", whatever the hell that means. Of Dea'vhon (whom I regretfully omitted in my first installment **) I know very little, though from the brief conversations I had with her she seems nice enough. I do not think she liked me very much and was actively avoiding me. I was sure that I had not forgotten my deodorant that day, though it can't be ruled out. Meahg** is an innocent looking girl that harbors kleptomanic tendencies, as I will explain later. Otherwise I know little about her, which is a shame. As is the case with most ethnographic studies conducted in far away lands, you do not get the chance to learn as much about the indigenous peoples as you might like. And, finally I come to Traesee. This alluring specimen is unattached, and anyone interested can e-mail me for her height and measurements. She enjoys long, moonlit walks on the beach, water-skiing and listening to Kenny G.
Our time at Weev'rzahrmz was short, and I think I would have liked to linger a while longer to take in more of this sacred landmark. But, alas, the journey was just beginning. Once the refreshments were gone, our group assembled outside the hallowed walls, amidst the snow and cold once more. The time was 8:27pm, and Kaarhen and Daav announced our departure and the start of another trading competition. The moieties parted ways for a time, to gather another totem object and win apint from the other. However, the next temple we would visit was a great distance away, and we would have to travel quickly if we were to avoid the five dollar cover charge . . .
* (It should be noted that the original trade was for an official Team Canada hockey jersey, but had to be returned due to a technicality of the ceremony rules. The hostile confrontation that occurred regarding this technicality will not be discussed here, but may be detailed in a later work as it gives interesting insights into the social conflict resolution practices of the Waterlooians.)
** My apologies to those not mentioned in the original drafts.
End Part II